The Nightmare Before Christmas
by Katya92
Summary: Bryan has just been released from prison and is visiting his sister Bianca and brother in-law Tala for Christmas dinner. Based on the characters from "Playing with Fire." Daft little three-way RP with LuxahHeart and PreciousRoy.


A/N: So first of all.. I'll start with an apology.. What you're about to read is the result of both myself and Lux who had already pulled an all nighter working on other stuff, so were clearly off our heads, and Roy just.. being her normal hilarious self.

Gotta love time differences guys.

Anyway.

I can not remember for the life of me who had said they wanted to see Bryan make an appearance in my fic "Playing with Fire." (May have even been a few of you?) But, this is the result of such request.

Tala, his wife Bianca, and her good ol' brother Bryan whose just come out of prison and is visiting for Christmas dinner.

I hope you enjoy this as much as us 3 did putting it together.

Merry Christmas everyone. K~

* * *

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Rubbing the swell of her aching stomach, Bianca's head rolled back along the top of her couch, Natalia playing on the floor with her new dolls and mini pink convertible contently. The smells of the festive feast cooking filling the entire house, making her hungry but also nauseous at the same time.

"Tala, could you open a window?" She groaned with her head bent back.

With the sound of the pans boiling on the stove and the turkey cooking in the oven Tala heard his name being called from the living room but nothing else.

Walking out the kitchen he stood in the kitchen doorway with wooden spoon in hand, sporting a frilly white apron that Bianca never used because of course she never did any of the cooking.

"You say something?"

"Window, can you open it please? The smells are too much right now." Bianca repeated in another groan as she rolled her eyes, he just liked making her repeat herself didn't he?

"And I need some more water, can you get it for me?"

With a tut Tala came into the living room and swiped the empty glass on the coffee table in front of her, missing the scowl he through her way with her attention going straight back to the trashy celeb magazine in her hands.

Placing the glass down on the kitchen counter Tala reached up and pushed open the window, the steam of the kitchen instantly beginning to pour out of it.

Running the tap for several seconds he filled up the glass and gave the potatoes a quick stir round before making his way back into the living room.

"Here your majesty." He bit.

Bianca smiled and made a kissy face at him as she took the cup, "You're the best, love."

"Yeah yeah." He brushed off.

Rolling up his sleeves he took a glance at his watch before hesitantly speaking out.

"When did uhm.. When did you say Bryan was coming?"

"He said he'd be here when he'd be here, you know how he is." Bianca waved her hand around in the air, sipping at her water and gazing back down at her magazine.

Tala swallowed before making his way back into the kitchen.

Yeah he knew how he was alright.

A raging psychopath who needed locking up and chucking away the key.

What judge deemed him safe for society?

The kitchen was far from cold but a shiver ran down his spine.

He was really not looking forward to what today was going to bring, but it was only dinner, and then he'd be gone, back to the abyss he crawled out of.

Not fifteen minutes after the question had passed his lips, the doorbell was rung 12 times in succession at fast intervals, and Tala knew Krampus had come.

Knowing full well his darling wife would not leave her comfy spot on the couch, he held his breath and walked to let his day of doom enter.

With a quick, cleansing breath in preparation, he pulled the door open. Shaggy lilac hair turned with a plume of smoke, green eyes coming around to meet him.

A confused look in place before a devilish smirk cracked.

"Oi oi, who's a pretty boy then?" his nasally voice asked as he eyed the frilly apron.

He dropped his cigarette butt on to the ground, stamping on it with his steel cap boot.

"You know, there's a few fellas on my cell block who would take a shine to you..."

Tala's face flushed as red as his hair as he'd completely forgotten about the damn apron.

Awkwardly trying to laugh it off he held his hand out to him.

"B-Bryan! Good to see you!"

Bryan looked at it like it had a turd stain on it.

"So formal...that how we greet family?" he asked with a stab in his tone.

Tala blinked a few times, his hand still gormlessly held out in front of him.

Didn't he try hugging him before and that didn't end too well in his favour last time?

"Uhhh..?"

Bryan grabbed his shoulders roughly and brought him in to bruising hug, slapping his back just as hard. Within a Mississippi, he pulled away.

"Enough. Unlike those boys on my cell block..." he said before he eyed him, "Nah."

Tala tried to catch his balance as the broader man pulled him both in and out just as fast before he could even register what had just happened. Catching a brief whiff of vodka, cigarette smoke and body odour.

"Oh bloody hell, let him in!" Bianca called from her throne.

Bryan threw his brown sack over his shoulder with a deranged grin on his face, barging by Tala like he wasn't even there.

"Is that my SISSY?!"

"Bubba!" Bianca shouted just as ecstatically while throwing her arms up, though remained perfectly comfortable on the couch.

Bryan put his sack on the floor as he stomped in, arms open as he leaned down to hug her, shaking her a little. "Fuckin' hell. Missed lunch did I?" he chuckled filthily.

"Not so rough!" She slapped him round the shoulders, "You're going to give her whiplash in there or shake her out before it's time. And no, we wouldn't eat without you."

"Her?!" he belted out as he straightened up, turning round. "Christ sake, Tala...no wonder you're wearing an apron."

Tala gave him a silent half smile before sauntering back into the kitchen, ripping off the damn apron in a strop, balling it up and throwing it in the bin… But missed, so snatched it up from the floor and shoved it firmly inside.

Bryan watched him go, looking back at Bianca and tutting. "No sense of humor still, I see."

"Pfft, just doesn't get _your_ humor" Bianca chuckled back, "Then again sometimes I don't even get your humor."

She looked around him to Natalia on the floor, "Nat, uncle Bubba is here, come say hello love." She urged.

Bryan eyed his little niece on the floor, his deranged grin coming back as he went over and knelt down. "Hello gorgeous! You missed your Uncle Bryan?"

The toddler stared up with big blue eyes that matched her fathers and shifted, going in on herself as the scary man towered over her and instantly reached out her small arms towards her mama, her bottom lip threatening to quiver.

Bianca huffed a little, holding her arms out for her to come to her.

"It's okay Nat, it's been a long time since you've seen him. But that's mommies brother, he looks scary but he's not." She cooed as she wrapped her arms around the little girl.

Natalia's eyes looked him up and down. She was far from convinced.

Bryan let out a chuckle.

"You'll thank me for looking like this one day if someone messes you about, darlin'." he said before he went over to his sack, "But look here, love! Uncle Bryan has some presents from Santa for you!"

Baby blue's instantly sparkled as her short attention span completely forgot about the terrifying man covered in scars and "thug life" tattooed on his knuckles and was completely focused on the shiny wrapping paper that had just come out that big brown bag!

He held them out to her and smiled.

"Now we just need to ask daddy where he keeps his pliers...few tags on there Uncle Bry couldn't get off with his teeth..."

"TALA!" Bianca called now that her shining prince was needed again. She knew where they were, but... Pregnant belly in the way she was happy to stay sitting until she needed to pee.

"PAPAAAAA" Natalia hollered in the same manner as her mother from the living room summoning him at once as she violently shook the wrapped box.

With a tea spoon of gravy to his lips Tala deemed it perfect before wincing at the two demanding women in his life shouting for him.

Walking back in to the living room he sighed out, "..Yes dears?"

"Where's your pliers?" Bryan asked, "Santa's elves left some security tags on little Nat's present...the silly cow."

"Bryan!" Bianca let out in a shocked and appalled tone, "Are you daft?!"She howled with laughter. He never changed

Bryan shrugged. "Wasn't me. Chinese Steve had a good haul down Mandela Square. All legit this is."

Tala cocked an unconvinced brow before going into the kitchen drawer of shite and pulling out some pliers and handing them over to Bryan back in the living room a minute or two later.

"Thank you daddy..." Bryan grinned back. "Go on then, poppet! Let's see what Santa got you!"

Natalia ripped open one of the boxes and was greeted with a Froz3n Lisa and Danna doll.

"Ah, look at that darling!" Bianca sounded more excited than she really felt, sending her brother a dirty glance for the cheap knock off dolls.

Bryan turned himself on the floor to his sister.

"Tell you what, B..." he said in hushed voice, "The real ones were something like 40 a pop! And they call me the criminal!"

Tala's face paled at the scantily dressed dolls in the boxes that reeked of super glue and were covered in a language he knew no one in this household could read.

"You _are_" Bianca said pointedly with a smile, "But then again, she's three, she won't know the difference. A doll is a doll."

Natalia quickly discarded the dolls to her side on the floor, her attention going back to the bag again and all the other sparkly wrapped boxes within it. Crawling over she pulled out another and proceeded to shake it violently before ripping off the paper.

"Nat!" Bianca scolded quickly, halting her daughter from ravaging into the wrapping like a wild animal. "Was that even yours?" She asked, looking to Bryan for confirmation that it was her present.

"Course it was, you silly mare! Would I wrap yours up in that sparkly shit? That one's for my special girl!"

Tala cleared his throat hoping to get Bianca's attention. He didn't feel he could personally reprimand the delinquent for swearing in front of his child personally so hope that she noticed and would do it for him.. though all attention was now on the monstrosity Natalia had just unwrapped.

Pulling out a furry gremlin looking thing that had huge eyes rivalling hers, Natalia looked closer at it, her young inquisitive self boring into it.

Suddenly the 'Durby' lit up and shouted in a thick German accent, "I WUV YOU!"

With a look of horror Natalia instantly screamed and launched it across the living room, it smacking into the radiator and landing on the floor.

"Oh, good choice Bry. It's like a scene from Nightmare before Christmas." Bianca rolled her eyes as the furry thing was thrown across the room.

Bryan's face hardened. "Chinese Steve told me this was all the rage..." he said with malice in his voice.

"You really believed the words of someone called 'Chinese Steve?'" Tala couldn't help but pipe up at that one, his face contorting in blatant mind blown-ery.

Bryan's hard face turned to Tala. "...You wouldn't be being a racist to my good friend Chinese Steve, now would you Tal?" he asked dangerously.

Tala swallowed and shook his head almost as violently as Natalia shook her presents. "No.. not at all."

"Best you're not..." his voice rumbled, "2019..."

"Oh, speaking of Chinese, we should have some for dinner tomorrow." Bianca chimed in while rubbing her stomach.

Bryan's demeanour changed instantly. "As it happens, Chinese Steve runs a place..."

"Shall we get Christmas dinner out the way first guys?" Tala chimed in.

"Well... Is it done?" Bianca asked as she turned to look at him.

"Almost.. Hope everyone's hungry!" He sung out, making his way back into the kitchen and getting out the plates.

"We are, thank you for taking notice of your starving family." Bianca called after him.

Bryan went back to stony faced. "He looking after you, B? You can tell me..."

"Don't be dramatic dear!" Tala called back to her from the kitchen

Bryan's eyes glinted in a bad way. "That how he talks to you B? Calls you names?"

"He takes care of me quite well actually, as you can tell." She patted her stomach with a coy smirk.

"Wouldn't believe all the names he calls me too." She howled, "Ain't that right, big daddy?!" She yelled out to Tala again.

Bryan finally turned his annoyed eyes to his sister.

"Oi...don't go winding me up. It's Christmas." he warned.

Tala carried the turkey out and placed it in the centre of the table, his wolfish grin dancing on his face as he locked eyes with his wife and sent her a sly wink.

Catching his sister's flirty look, Bryan's eyes almost turned 180 like an owl, eyes narrowing and burning.

"Oh, stuffed that turkey up good like you did me?" Bianca cooed at him.

Catching Bryan's silent death threat Tala cleared his throat before speaking out again, "Everyone grab a plate!"

Bryan thwacked his sister's arm as he stood. "Behave yourself, little tart." He playfully warned as he held a hand out for her.

Bianca just laughed as she let him haul her up to her feet, the baby shifting down into her pelvis. "Excuse me boys, you sit I'll be right back." She said hurriedly and waddled off to the bathroom.

Bryan went ahead and sat himself down at the head of the table, eyes on Tala like a hawk.

Picking up Natalia from the floor Tala settled her down in her high chair beside him and sat, he guessed, in the chair at the opposite end of the table since _someone_ was currently sat in his usual spot.. God he hated him.

Bryan looked offended. "Do I smell or something?"

Tala shook his head though 'yes' was the answer to that.

Vodka clearly being a part of his circulatory system, he must just sweat the stuff.

"Just thought I'd give you some space Bryan. Must have been real hard being cooped up for all those months in that cell.. Figured I'd let you, _stretch_ out while you can." He taunted.

Lord knows it wouldn't be long before he was thrown back in.

Bryan tilted his head.

"It was indeed Tal. But I tell you what was worse. Being away from my _family_." He said as his threatening stare held and he patted the chair beside him.

Tala gulped, the balls he'd just tried to show shrinking back within himself as he hesitantly eased himself up from his seat that gave him at least a 3 second head start to safety and shuffled over to the seat beside his dear, loving, ever so kind and gentle souled brother in law.

Bryan put his elbows on the table and watched the whole way. Never blinking. Even after he sat down.

"There. Isn't this nice?" He whispered after a few long seconds.

Tala shifted a little, edging over, his ass barely touching the chair as he'd tried to get as much distance between them.

"Mhm.. Grand."

Waddling from the bathroom Bianca made her grand entrance once more, shifting herself in as comfortable position as she could back on the couch.

"Oh my loveeeee, would you be so kind as to bringing me a plate?" She sweetly called before sipping at her water again.

Tala had never bounded up so fast to obey one of her commands before and fixed up a plate for her. Why she couldn't sit at the dining table she'd made him spend a grand on was beyond him but if it got him away from Bryan she could demand away.

"Here you go my love!" He cooed, handing her the plate and cutlery.

"Thank you so much darling, what would I do without you?" She smiled warmly at him before she frowned, "Did you put salt on here?"

Tala paused, as he thought of the right answer here.

He knew the real answer but that wasn't necessary the _right_ one.

"Noo..?" He drawled out, deeming that the safest bet. If she wanted salt she could just add her own surely.. Right?!

"Tala..." She started with a demeaning look, "Since when, for the past three months, have I _not_ had salt on my food?"

"Oi! You do it yourself, lazy cow!" Bryan scolded from the table.

Tala blinked. W-Was, he defending him?!

"Oh don't you start on me you felon before I shove that turkey up your arse and light it on fire!"

"Can't put salt on your sprouts but think you can do all that? Jog on, B!"

Tala looked between them, feeling like he was watching the tennis before picking up the salt and just handing it to her. "Here you go dear."

"Thank you baby." She cooed happily once more though was sending daggers with her eyes at her brother while loosening the lid of the salt shaker once she was done with it.

"See if he wants any, will you?"

Taking the shaker from her, throwing his own daggers her way Tala tightened the shaker back up before handing it to Bryan. Did she want to be a widow?!

"Salt Bry?"

Bryan took it, changing his tune completely and actually looking pleasant.

"Gentleman! Thank you!" He said as he took it and shook it.

"Top notch meal, Tal. B never was much use in the kitchen. Once put a pizza in the oven with the polystyrene tray still under it." He said before erupting in to a wheezy cackle.

"Least I wasn't the one who tried to put a cat in it when I was five!" Bianca retaliated.

"Or there was once she put foil in the microwave!" He wheezed even more, manically amused eyes boring in to Tala's.

Bianca laughed with him, "About blew the bloody thing up!" She howled, "Mum was so angry, couldn't sit for a week!"

Tala glanced between the two of them, mortified, though the laughter between them became contagious, and a chuckle, though nervous, a chuckle none the less started to escape him.

As soon as the laughter left Tala's throat, Bryan's ceased, giving him a cold, hard stare.

"Thinks it's funny our dear old mum beat your wife?"

"God rest her soul..." Bianca muttered as she made a cross pattern over her chest.

Tala's face fell, any remains of even a smile being wiped clean off.

"N-No!" He stuttered as he turned to Bianca. He didn't mean that at all!

"To be fair, you did deserve it. Right little arsehole she was. Probably the reason dear old mum went the age she did, rest her soul." Bryan added before he too did the cross pattern.

Natalia then picked up a spoon and threw it on the floor from her high chair. "Arseholeee"

"Oh piss off, it was you she always had a problem with. First with the firecrackers in the loo and then the cats in the ovens to the bugs you let out and roam the house."

Bryan rolled his eyes, "Those bugs were to hunt spiders! And the cat looked cold. Explained all this!"

"Can we stop swearing in front of the baby?!" Tala yelled starting to get hysterical.

Natalia tilted her head before picking up a tiny handful of peas and chucking them at him before uttering her new vocabulary. "Pish off."

Bryan shot a look at him. Shocked he would dare raise his voice.

"Oh calm the fuck down! Just words! Words don't hurt people..." he said as he leaned forward, "but you know what does...?"

Bianca huffed, though she agreed with her husband. They didn't want their precious angel soiling her pretty mouth with dirty words. The other mothers in her mom group would all have fits if they knew.

"What Bryan?! Humor me!" Tala spat back, he was so done with everyone's shit!

Bryan blinked. "Hunger. You haven't touched your food. Have a pew."

Tala too blinked. Completely mentally fucking drained and it wasn't even 3oclock yet.

"Oi, don't be shoutin' at the dinner table Tal!" Bianca scolded from her throne.

"Bad for the throat that is Tal. Especially this time of year. Cold and flu going around." Bryan added as he went at some roast potatoes.

Tala just sat. His eyes staring over, transfixed on nothing in particular as he lifted his fork up to his mouth, and then back down to his plate. Eating at his food quietly. He was done. So done.

Suddenly, a shiny tube slowly moved towards his face. "Didn't pull the cracker..."

Blinking, Tala glanced from the cracker, to Bryan, and back to the cracker. SIGH.

Obliging, he took hold of one end of the cracker and the two males pulled it apart, a loud bang later the majority was left in Tala's hand.

"Well done, bro. What you get?" He asked.

Peering inside the open half, Tala pulled out the world's smallest and most useless sewing kit, a piece of paper with a corny joke on and a green paper hat.

Bryan eyed it. "You gonna wear that?"

"This?" Tala asked holding up the paper hat and shook his head, "Can never get them over my hair.. here."

Bryan took it, quickly opening it up and sitting it on his shaggy mop, bringing his hands down slowly with a small, content smile on his face.

"And the king of fools has been crowned." Bianca snorted.

Tala near enough choked on his water.

Bryan glared daggers. "You won't be pregnant forever...and you, I can have beheaded right now." He switched to Tala.

"Sure feels like I've been pregnant forever." Bianca huffed back, "And will you leave him alone, the man fed you, show some sliver of gratitude."

"Gave you my paper hat too.." Tala muttered, playing with a sprout on his plate.

Bryan looked around. "I spend months away and come spend Christmas with my nearest and dearest, and this is how I'm talked to!?"

"Oh shut it, you're more than welcome to stay if it'll make you feel better and take away the butt hurt." Bianca rolled her eyes, sometimes he was so childish and self-centred.

Tala's eyes immediately shot to Bianca.

No.. it was one thing having this maniac for dinner but having him sleep over?!

Bryan pouted.

"Oooooh no. Wouldn't want to stay where I'm not wanted..." he fished.

"You know you're wanted, don't be silly." Bianca flicked her wrist at him, "You're always welcome to stay with us."

"Awww B, heart of gold, just like dear old mum, rest her soul."

"Rest her soul..." Bianca muttered, making the cross pattern over her chest again.

Tala just shook his head.

"Guess I'll show you to the guest room then Bry." He mumbled out accepting his fate, and knowing Bianca wouldn't be getting off her arse to assist in any of this.

"Diamond. Thanks!" Bryan said chirpily as he stabbed another pig in blanket.

Bianca smiled warmly, oh her husband was just the best. No wonder snooty Karen was so jealous of her, Brad was hardly the man Tala was.

Standing from the table and clearing up all the dishes and plates Tala loaded everything in the dishwasher before reappearing in the living room an hour later.

"Do you mind giving Nat a bath tonight? My back is killing me." Bianca asked as she finally rose from her throne, rubbing at the small of her back.

Tala's eye twitched though he didn't even have it in him to throw a look of 'you're taking the piss babe.'

"Sure." He breathed out and picked up his little angel and took her up the stairs for her bath.

"This is why you're so much better than Brad darling." She called after him as she meandered to the kitchen to raid the fridge some more.

Bryan watched her. "Sure you're actually pregnant and not just a heffer?"

"Fuck off you asshole or you can sleep outside." Bianca flicked him off, pulling out the pie and setting it on the counter and grabbing two forks out, holding one up to him. "Would you like some?"

Bryan smirked. "I would say yes, but I fear you'd growl at me."

"Just come here you twat."

* * *

With Natalia bathed and tucked up in her room Tala slowly made his way back down the stairs before collapsing down on the couch in an exhausted slump.

"And then, the dick goes and leaves us sitting there for almost an hour. Lord knows what kind of shit he was having, came back all flustered and red in the face." Bianca regaled her tale of her first double date to her brother in the kitchen.

Bryan's head snapped to him. "An hour!?"

"It was _never_ an hour B.." Tala nervously laughed off. "Think you're exaggerating again hunny."

"Yes! An hour! The poor dear with me drank himself into a stupor, then his boy toy came and took them off without a word. They paid the bill though, so can't be all that disappointed."

"Bunged up were you mate?" Bryan asked.

"Aye, something like that." Tala agreed, hoping he came across as convincing.

Bianca fanned herself, "Ah, the things those two probably got up to after they left. The one had this look in his eyes, ate oysters for dinner."

"Ahhhhh so he probably had the runs." Bryan nodded sympathetically.

Tala swallowed, pulling at his collar somewhat as he tried to focus on the pirate DVD of guardians of the galaxy. Bryan's head appearing every so often on the screen as he left to use the bathroom.

"No you dolt, they're an aphrodisiac." She rolled her eyes at him, "Anyways, you want to take this with you to bed?"

"What am I? An animal? Don't eat pies in bed. Those days are behind me now." He snapped at her.

"Well fine then, I'll just take it with me." She stuck her tongue out at him, taking it and the baby with her to the living room.

"My darling, I'm not feeling well with those darn heat flashes again. Would mind sleeping in the guest room with Bubba would you?" She asked as she passed by him, heading up the stairs not even waiting for his answer.

"Love you boys, sleep good."

Tala's eyes widened in pure horror.

"B-But there's only one bed!"

"Don't worry Tal, like I said, I aint like those guys on my cell block.. No Brokeback Bryans here."

* * *

Turning on the light switch Tala stood in the doorway and the small guest room illuminated.

"Ta da.." He announced in a shaky voice.

Bryan stepped in, looking around and nodding. He jumped and flung himself on the bed, laying on his back with his arms behind his head.

"Oh yes, this will do nicely."

Tala pressed his lips together as he edged himself further into the room.

"Actually y'know what, ill just sleep on the couch Bry, don't worry about it!" He waved off as he turned on his heel to high tail it out the bedroom.

"Don't be silly! Plenty of room, Tally-wag!"

Tala tensed, stopping in his tracks. He knew he'd say that..

"O-Okay" he said as he shuffled back in along the carpet and softly placed his bum on the edge of the mattress.

"...Now strip."

"W-what?" Tala squeaked out looking over his shoulder.

"You heard me, pretty boy."

"Uhm.."

Tala didn't know where to look as his hands wrapped around himself and pulled off his shirt. Delicately draping it on the wooden chair by the desk.

Bryan wheezed out a silent but violent laugh, hacking in to a cough as he punched the bed.

"You silly fucker!"

"W-What?!" Tala asked in a complete flustered state now

"Ahhhhh, this is why I like you. So easy to mess with." Bryan said as he dried his eye and then went deadpan. "The only reason..."

Tala gulped again. Lifting up the bed covers and sliding inside. Lying as stiff as a board with the duvet held up to his nose.

Green eyes appeared right up near his face.

"Nighty night..."

"N-Night" Tala parroted.

Though sleep never came, his icy blue eyes remaining wide open all night to the point they were blood shot come morning.


End file.
